My Relationship With the Media: A tough battle

Honestly, I can still remember a time when my house did not have three computers, two flat screens, a laptop, two Samsung Galaxies, and an iPhone.

I had the outdoors. I had the fresh air. I had the typical life. With one family television sitting in the living room that I never watched and one family computer that I never used. Yet. I was happy. 

Looking back, I miss the first five years of my childhood. I would roam the outdoors and my mother would yell at me to come home or my skin would get dark. She would use these kinds of excuses to keep me from playing with my brothers. According to a traditional Hmong household, a girl must learn to be obedient, a girl must learn how to cook, a girl must learn how to clean, a girl must learn how to sew, a girl must NOT play with boys. Well, I didn't care. Although I learned how to be obedient, how to to cook, how to clean, how to sew, I still played with my brothers and I still roam outdoor. And I am proud.

My mother eventually got use to the way how I was. She eventually went easy on me and let me play with my brothers for a few hours.

I remember playing hide-and-seek. One would count to fifty (not ten, but fifty) and the rest would hide. I hid behind the bushes all the time. My brother would find me and it would be my turn to be "it".

I didn't need technology to have fun. I didn't need technology to bond. I didn't need technology at all.

And I was happy. I was a happy, bubbly child.

A year or two later my family got another up-to-date computer. That's when I did care. That's when I stop playing with my brothers. That's when I started to roam online and not outdoors.

It first started with MySpace. Oh gosh, I regret a lot of things and MySpace is one of them. I was a six year old with a MySpace account! Back then I felt awesome, now I feel...Come on! I was a six year old with a MySpace account! SIX YEARS OLD! SIX!!

I feel completely dumb for thinking that I was awesome.

I should calm down; I didn't use it for profanity to completely destroy people or to completely destroy myself. I used it to connect with people like my aunties, uncles, friends and other relatives. That's pretty innocent. I was innocent. I still am. I just got hooked onto technology. I just got hooked into something call the media.

Although I had an account, I barely went on it. My sisters would give a time restriction for me and if I go over my limit, they would never give me my fair share of the computer ever again. That's what they said and at the time I was mad at them for it. I became bratty. I became dependent on technology. 

Now looking back, I am happy that my sisters gave me my time restrictions. I was addicted but not as addicted like now.

At my age, I have more than ten accounts on different websites ranging from Facebook to Instagram to Twitter to Yahoo to Google to.......You get the point. I just became something that was completely different from when I was four or five. I still love the outdoors. I still love smelling the fresh air in the morning. I still love the smell of wood chips. I still love riding my bike. I still love having the feeling of being free. But there's that part of me that is still dependent on technology. There's still that part of me who wants to get the latest style, the latest technology, the latest makeup, the latest "thing".

It's a tough battle. I am one of those people trying to break free from the addicting world of the media. However, this is the twenty-first century, the media is the latest "thing". It's communication; it's keeping people all over the world together in a way to prevent another disastrous event yet at the same time influencing another one. The media is consuming so many lives without us knowing that we forget how to have fun, how to communicate, how to do things without the technology we possess today.

There's an advantage and price to pay for that advantage. The media is not at fault in this double sided situation, it's our fault. It's us who's using the media, it's us changing it, influencing it, keeping it alive. Now in order to stop ourselves from being even more consumed, just stop looking at your phone. Stop looking at your laptop. Stop looking at the television. Stop looking at your tablet.

Just stop. And start doing.   

There are many others who are trying to break free. I am. My relationship with the media is a bad one. It's like a battle with myself. I am the person who's in my own way. I want to break free but the things I have seen and experienced while using technology is just too hard to steer clear from. I am jealous of my almost-technology-free childhood. But I can't do anything if I just sit and stare at my phone or my computer. I need to stop and start doing.